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That doesn’t mean in some alternate universe that I wouldn’t like to be able to have my cake and eat it, too.
That’s essentially what alpha males do – get married and keep sleeping with other women.
The more self-aware men understand this intellectually, and relegate those spikes of attraction to what they are – biologically programmed bursts of pleasure. Men can admit attraction to favorite celebrities, and still be great husbands and fathers.
We choose monogamy because we deem that it’s more beneficial to have love, stability, and a nuclear family than to have lots of children running around with our eyes.
Men are aroused by images of clothed or naked women (but not as much as you’d think.) What I’d like to add to all of those ideas is that none of that should affect your relationship…unless you make it affect your relationship.
In other words: GOOD men, regardless of relationship status, get a chemical high in seeing attractive women.
And since the value of my marriage is far greater than the value of sleeping with a stranger in Paris, I remain faithful, even though I’m attracted to other women everywhere I go.
It would never even occur to me after 300 dates and nearly 10 years as a dating coach that there’s anyone out there who’d make me happier for the next forty years than my own wife.